The other week, Sarah and I were in Idaho for some training.  The trip went well and we accomplished our tasks at the training center.  When we were returning to Ohio, it was the day of our wedding anniversary.   Sarah and I spent our 14^th anniversary in the airports traveling from Spokane, Washington to Cleveland, Ohio.  As I considered the reality of this when we were leaving I was very disappointed that we would not be going on a date that day to celebrate.

My thoughts that morning went to Philippians 4:4-7, “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”  I thought that God was teaching me to be happy in the situation that we were in.  I did that and started to enjoy the time we were together and that we had each other and no other distraction that day.  I began to treasure the moment and the time with Sarah.  I found joy in being beside her.  I felt love by holding her hand.  I was calm just spending time waiting.  Waiting to leave.  Waiting to arrive. Waiting for the next plane.  Waiting.  However, I was waiting with the love of my life so it was worth every minute and it was very special.

What I am realizing is God is working in my heart to learn more and more about living the peace of God.  I have a very strong drive and work hard to accomplish things.  I expect (and probably demand) people to work equally as hard as I do.  I get frustrated with people and institutions when they, in my opinion, fail and what I believe to be basic and important functions.  Often, I allow my frustrations to agitate me and stress me out.   However God has been showing me, these attitudes are really my own version of anxiety.  I’ve realized that I tend to rely on effort and outcomes to answer my prayers yet God is teaching me to step back in the moment and wait for Him to answer my prayers in His timing.

The peace, love, joy, and happiness I had on my anniversary spending it with Sarah is the same peace, love, joy, and happiness God wants me to have when I cast my anxieties on him.  What are my anxieties?  I am working hard hoping that churches and individuals pick us up in their budgets to support us so that we can transition from pastoral ministry to focusing fully on the mission.  I feel pulled in two different directions at times, I am putting my heart and soul into the pastorate but also pouring a lot of time and energy into the calling God has given us to the mission field.  At moments I feel overwhelmed.

However, as I am writing this, I realize that I can live at peace in Christ.  I can continue to do what God has called me to until He provides and leads me to the next aspect of His calling.  The most comforting part of the scripture is that Jesus is near.  He can shoulder the burdens I feel and I can rejoice.