(Journal by Elisabeth McCurdy)

            As we are coming to an end of deputation, I’ve come to realize something. I’ve changed a lot over the past two years during this process of what seemed like endless chaos.

            Recently, one night I couldn’t sleep, so I started to clean my desk. On my desk I found a card from the all staff gathering at the Green Lake Conference Center, which took place the week before the 2014 World Mission Conference. The card was from my group leader and many MKs (Missionary Kids). I read the card, and I then realized that I had so many friends, but back then I barely felt like I had any friends. There was barely a blank spot on that card. I realized that I am so blessed to have all of these wonderful MKs as my friends.

            I then continued to reflect on the past two years. How I was mad at my parents for uprooting me once again (I’m no longer mad at them, in fact I’m more excited than ever), the times of visiting churches, those two wonderful, awesome, amazing, life-changing weeks at Green Lake, the month of awesome training at MTI (Mission Training International) in Colorado, and most definitely the struggle of starting high school.

            For me, 9^th grade was definitely one of the hardest years of school for me, and not because of academics. What was difficult was being in a new community that I knew I was going to leave, being bullied, and not being able to find a group of kids that I fit in with.

            However, this past June I had the privilege of attending an ABW (American Baptist Women) conference at Shippensburg university in Pennsylvania. When I met the other AB girls, something came over me, the Holy Spirit. I seemed peppy, confident, and a most definite extrovert, none of which I felt on the inside. Inside I was tired and bored, plus I’m an introvert. I stayed peppy and confident the whole weekend, ice cream for breakfast might have helped with that too. I spent that weekend being the real me, the true me, no fakes. I had taken down my mask of trying to fit in and be like everyone else.

            Up until that conference I had always put my worth into what I thought others thought of me, how many friends I had, my appearance but I’m moving away from that and putting my worth in Jesus Christ. Just like it says in Psalm 139:1 “O Lord, you have searched me and you know me.” God knows me better than my friends, my parents, and me. So I’m letting go, “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139: 24-24. Will you join me in praying that God will continue to complete the good work that He has started in me?

Elisabeth